one day nearer dying.  haha! just kidding! well not really, i really am one day closer to dying, but i'm not like depressed or anything.  it's been a decent day.  nothing remarkable. 

i'm sorry i've got nothing meaningful to say today.  i'm kinda mentally pooped. i dont know why though, cause i didn't do all that much.

i had work bright and early at 8 am this morning.  it sucked big time.  i had to talk to my evil boss (more about her later)  i went to econmics, which sadly enough is about my favorite classes.  went to american history. god i hate that class.  its sad, its my major and i can hardly pay attention the class is so boring.  i hate hostory now.  i should have been a philosophy major. 

went home for lunch.  had popcorn.  got really thirsty.  went to epistemology.  good class.  i payed attention for most of the class and asked some questions.  we are reading wittgenstein.  fairly intersting.  his philosophy has a lot to do with language.  more about that later as we talk about it in class. 

went to work.  there was a little kid about eight in one of the labs.  my boss came by and yelled at him and scared the shit out of him.  she is such a soulles woman.  i hate working there and i think i should ask for a transfer. 

went to the mall, got stuck in rush hour traffic.  was looking for a new hat.  i've worn the same baseball cap almost everyday for the last three years.  though it was time for a change, but i couldnt find anything i liked enough to spend money on.  i hate the mall.  there's almost nothing worth spending money on there. 

went to dinner at babylons  thank god something was worthwile today.  thats one of my fav restaurants.  yes, i went alone, but i brought some husserl to reveiw.  my god i'm a dork, all i talk about is philosophers. 

i called rob again today.  wanted to play pool.  seriously, thats all i want, well ok so not really, i've had a crush on him since the moment i met him.  but i know i'm not ready to date so i'll settle for friends.  but he hasnt called me back either today or yesterday.  i really want to talk to him at least.  i want to know whether what happened last thursday happened because we were drunk or because we both wanted it to. i've never been kissed like that before.  it made me feel.  i dunno made me feel weak in the knees. i know i wanted it to happen, but not that soon. 

i've got to go to a mixer tonight.  i can hang out with some of the girls who are my friends in the sorority.  icecream. 

maybe rob will call  (wow that heart looks gay).  if not i plan to go shoot some pool.  hopefully i'll get really good at it.  that would be totally sweet.  its been a while since i've really been good at anything.  last year it was russian.  before that it was always music.  now i dont do either anymore. 

anyway lets end this on a positve note.  pool! yay!

Quote of the day--

 "Philosophy is harmonized knowledge making a harmonious life; it is the self-discipline which lifts us to serenity and freedom. Knowledge is power, but only wisdom is liberty. "

--Will Durant

Currently Playing Brahms: 21 Hungarian Dances By Johannes Brahms, Claudio Abbado see related

-

So I find out maybe things aren't so good.  I'm not going to say why.  I've got some things to deal with, some consequences to face. 

But if I get through this, I think I'm going to be OK. 

I really am serious about not drinking or chasing boys anymore.  It's hella fucked up my life lately.  I think now that I can see some of the consequences of it, I think I'm more likely to follow through and be on my best behavior... for as long as it takes for me to learn to be responsible about it.

I spent almost the entire day finishing one of my two late term paper drafts.  I was pretty happy with how it came out though.  I really like to write, and I write really well when I get into it.  This paper was about "My philosophy of history" which, I know, sounds like the lamest topic ever, but I made the best of it I could.  The premis I posited is that as a discipline, history has a duel nature: It has a positive nature that describes historical facts and explains the causal relations among them.  History also has a normative nature wherein the historian makes moral judgments about historical events.  In do doing, he discovers an ideal world of moral laws, that is the ideal world where what ought to have happened actual exists.  This world is similar to the ideal world of pure mathematics, a world which is not directly experiencable.  It is only through a graudal process of discovery that the laws governing this world (moral laws) are discovered. 

I spent pretty much all day working on the paper.  I turned it in after class.  The prof at least liked the title though : the Janis-Faced Nature of History.  That made me happy at least. 

I went home after class.  Called Gino to discuss some things.  Things there are OK I guess, though I'm not sure whether I should believe a word he says.  I suppose it really doesn't matter. The consequences for me are the same no matter whether he lies or tells the truth.  I'm stuck.   And really, it's my fault anyway, no big deal. 

I shaved my head today.  Wasn't particularly attached to my hair anyway, though some other people seem to be.  I don't have any inclinations to try and impress people anymore anyway.  I liek it though.  It feels nice when I rub it and it will be nice and cool for the summer.  I just need to get more of a tan so I don't look like a neo-nazi. 

I'm gonna watch Southpark with Mikey J, even though he hates the show.  He's packing his room.  I'm kinda sad, even though he doesn't know yet if he's gonna be staying in Nola for the summer.  I'm not ready for the year to end.  I am ready for the year to end.  I dunno.  It will be nice to be out the classes I'm in.  But it won't be so nice when most of my friends go home for the summer. 

Then again, it will be nice to live with all my buddies again.  I miss their antics.  I sure hope they don't have a problem with my new found soberness.  Peer pressure could be tough to get by.  I'll do my best.  a'ight.  I'm outties.

Quote of the Day-- "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"-- Chicken Little

Currently Playing 10 from 6 By Bad Company see related

Xanga

The luckiest thing about life is that each new day you get to start over.  The real question is whether you're going to take it or not.  OK I know that's really naive of me, but still, you have at least have the opportunity to change your attitudes and behaviors.  I've gotten that chance.  And I'm taking it. 

I've done some pretty bad things in my day.  Lately I've been worse than usual.  Things got out of control.  There's no need to rehash them all, but I'm never going to forget them completely.  I'm going to live with my mistakes for the rest of my life.

But some things are changing.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.  Alcohol and boy chasing are out of my life.  Schoolwork is back in.  My other responsibilities are back in. 

Other than that, today has been unremarkable.  I went to work, studied, went to class studied etc.  Arthur bought me lunch.  I was sworn in for my first and only term on SGA (student government to all you non-Loyola people)  I have an Amnesty meeting tonight.  I hope people come, so it's not just me again.  Mom and I planned to work on the fafsa.   and then I've got two overdue term papers to finish   Quite an exciting night.

It's ok though.  I'm looking forward to an icecream social with some sorority girls on thursday and maybe doing something with Rob or Mikey J later this week.  And then with my buddies all weekend.    I guess that's about it for today. 

Quote of the day--"History," said Stephen Dedalus, "is a nightmare from which I am trying to awaken."--James Joyce, Ulysses

Song-

Shooting Star-- Bad Company

Johnny was a schoolboy
When he heard his first Beatles song
Love Me Do, I think it was
And from then it didn't take him long
Got himself a guitar
Used to play every night
Now he's in a rock 'n' roll outfit
And everything's alright
Don't you know?

Johnny told his Mama,
"Hey, Mama, I'm goin' away
Gonna hit the big time
Gonna be a big star someday"
Mama came to the door
With a teardrop in her eye
Johnny said, "Don't cry, Mama
Smile and wave goodbye"
Don't you know?

Yeah......

(Chorus)
Don't you know that you are a shooting star
Don't you know
Don't you know
Don't you know that you are a shooting star
And all the world will love you just as long
As long as you are

Johnny made a record
Went straight up to number one
Suddenly everyone loved
To hear him sing the song
Watchin' the world go by
Surprisin' it goes so fast
Johnny looked around him and said,
"Well, I made the big-time at last"
Don't you know?
Don't you know?

(Chorus)
A shooting star

Don't you know that You are a shooting star
Don't you know?
Don't you know that You are a shooting star
And all the world will love you just as long
as long as you are

Johnny died one night, died in his bed
Bottle of whisky, sleeping tablets by his head
Johnny life passed him by like a warm summer day
If you listen to the wind you can still hear him play

(chorus)
Don't you know that You are a shooting star
Don't you know?
Don't you know that you are a shooting star
Dont you dont you dont you dont you dont you know
Don't you know that you are a shooting star